1 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,615 Popcorn! 2 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,679 Pancake flour. 3 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,339 Didn't do much good winnin' the new house, Ma. How's that? 4 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:50,138 Three bathrooms and I still can't get in. 5 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:53,180 You got to expect that when you got 15 kids. 6 00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,580 We should have had less kids and more bathrooms. 7 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,449 Wash up afteryou finish milkin' the cow. 8 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,715 All right, Ma. 9 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,993 [Timer Rings] 10 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,529 Hi, Bossie. 11 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,468 [Thumps Chair] 12 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:04,977 JJ_'[ Radio, “Tlger Rag“] 13 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:07,446 [Thumps Chair] [Radio Stops] 14 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:10,006 Wrong station. 15 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,783 [ Radio] It's 6:15, and KMAF, the farmer's station... 16 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,155 presents “Music to Milk By.“ 17 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:23,026 Science has proved that the relaxed cow gives more milk. 18 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:26,862 Here's a musical medley to give your cow that contented feeling. 19 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,392 ♪♪ [ “The Blue Danube“] 20 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:36,136 £3 21 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,514 Here's a letter for you... 22 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:51,990 from the Bubble-Ola Company. 23 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:55,289 Must be about my winning that free trip to New York. 24 00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,296 Go ahead and open it. 25 00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,026 All right, if you're sure you don't mind. 26 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,764 “Dear Mr. Kettle: Confirming our telegram of the 16th, 27 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:07,569 “enclosed are your rail road tickets to New York. 28 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:12,545 “A reservation has been made for you at the Waldorf-Astoria. 29 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,979 “Congratulations again... 30 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:19,918 “on winning the big Bubble-Ola letter contest. 31 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:24,082 “Your envy on Why! Like Bubble-Ola... 32 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:29,118 “was a sincere and magnificent tribute to our product. 33 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:34,293 “I'm looking forward to meeting you and your charming wife personally. 34 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:38,736 “Very truly yours, 1.]. Schumacher, 35 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,399 “Vice Pres. 36 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:46,310 “RS. On rereading your flattering letter, 37 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:51,408 “the stockholders voted to send you an additional prize: 38 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:55,387 “a ten-year supply of Bubble-Ola... 39 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,755 for each and every member of your family.“ 40 00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,850 A ten-year supply! 41 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:04,795 I don't know what we're gonna do with the stuff. 'Tain't fit for drinkin'. 42 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,726 Wonder what it is good for. Don 't rightly/mow 43 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,737 Was gonna write and tell 'em how bad it was... 44 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,297 but I found out they don't give prizes for that. 45 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,943 Too bad we can't take that trip. 46 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,347 How's that? Can't go? 47 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,387 Ain't nobody'll stay with the kids. 48 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:31,652 I tried to tell 'em they ain't really wild... just growin'. 49 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:36,185 Now, Ma, ain't no need to apologize for our kids. 50 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,528 All 15 are chips off the old block. 51 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,967 Any more chips, there won't be any more old block. 52 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,971 Sure would have had a whoop-de-doo in New York. 53 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,977 Could've seen Tom and Kim too. 54 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,979 What's it say, Ma? 55 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,641 Beginning tonight, they're gonna stop ringin' the 9:00 curfew bell. 56 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,650 'Bout time! 57 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:02,677 I always said it was wakin' up too many people. 58 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:07,626 Hmm. They haven't caught that bank robber, Shotgun Munger, 59 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,823 who stole $100,000. You don't say? 60 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,956 They think he's headin' out this way. 61 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,627 Got all the roads blocked. 62 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,975 Oughta put up a towel rack, Ma. 63 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,312 Ain't nobody stoppin' ya. 64 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:34,081 Well... maybe after breakfast. 65 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:37,715 I'll have to go up to the old house and get some tools. 66 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,989 Sure would like to have seen New York. Sit down, Pa. 67 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,554 Breakfast! 68 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,464 [Children Chattering, Shouting] 69 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,509 Much obliged. 70 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,636 Hold it! 71 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:05,912 P.S. If you can see your way clear for Ma and me to take the trip, 72 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,683 much obliged again. 73 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,719 There you are. 74 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,525 All right. I'll go get the milk. 75 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:39,115 Pa, why are you puttin' ketchup on your cakes? 76 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,586 It comes out easier. 77 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:50,054 [Crunching] 78 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:14,014 [ Indistinct Bang] 79 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,357 [ Chickens Clucking] 80 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,796 [Barking] 81 00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:06,162 Anybody home? Anybody home? 82 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,069 Hey'.! 83 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,166 Shoo. Shoo! 84 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,808 Ahh. 85 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,259 Ahh. 86 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:20,540 [whimpering] 87 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,645 [ Barks] 88 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,142 [Snoring] 89 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,191 Howdy. 90 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,360 Who are you? 91 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,988 Pa Kettle. 92 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,499 What's your game? 93 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:17,298 I don't mind checkers now and then if the stakes ain't too high. 94 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,429 Cut it! What do you want? 95 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,031 Excuse me for disturbing you, 96 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:25,703 but I own this house and-- Oh. 97 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,975 I was taking a nap. I've been driving all night and I've got a flat. 98 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:32,848 I figured you saw the sign and wanted to rent the place. 99 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,116 Rent this? Let me show you around. 100 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,715 It's very livable. 101 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:41,988 Yeah, if you happen to be a cockroach. 102 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:45,588 You can see for yourself it's airy, 103 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:49,727 roomy, mighty comfortable. 104 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,669 Make yourself to home. 105 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:55,470 You must be hungry, Mr.- 106 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,475 Uh,jones. 107 00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:01,070 What brings you up our way, Mnjones? 108 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,378 Well, you see, I'm a, uh-- 109 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:08,512 I'm a... apoet. 110 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,717 I came up here to get away from it all. A poet? 111 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,158 I thought you might be a traveling salesman. 112 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,821 Lot of them visit farms, you know. 113 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,955 I heard stories about that. 114 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,002 What kind of poetry you write? 115 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:25,868 Well, the regular kind. Oh. 116 00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:30,034 Like what? 'jackandjill went up a hill--“ 117 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:33,511 That's a mighty well-known poem. You write that? 118 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,947 To be honest, on that poem I had to cut another guy in. 119 00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:40,145 Oh. Well, there ain't nothing to eat here. 120 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,746 Come down to the new place and Ma'll fix something for ya. 121 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,814 No, no time. I'm headin' up north, 122 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,088 someplace where I can hide out. 123 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,630 And write. 124 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,722 I need peace and quiet. 125 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:58,232 Plenty of peace and quiet around here. 126 00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:01,467 Where you from? New York. 127 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,636 I won a free trip to New York, but I can't go. 128 00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:08,807 You see, I-- I got a tire that needs changin'. 129 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,617 Lemme give you a hand. 130 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,221 I got a son in New York, Tom Kettle. 131 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,592 Maybe you heard of him? 132 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:27,725 There's eight million people in New York, Pop. It's Pa. 133 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,259 Sure would like to go to New York. I ain't stoppin' ya. 134 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:36,104 Can't. Got nobody to watch the kids. That's too bad. 135 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:40,770 What's the name of this town, Pop? It's Pa. 136 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,817 This here's Cape Flattery. 137 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,079 How far are you from a city? Seattle? 138 00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:48,484 That's a hundred miles away. 139 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,545 Not bad. 140 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:55,959 I was thinkin' ofwritin' a poem about a small town. This may be the place. 141 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:59,430 Tell me about the... the birds, 142 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:03,163 the trees, the grass, the police department. 143 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,536 Got much of a police department? just a sheriff. 144 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:10,270 Course he only works part time. 145 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:14,439 I think I know how you can go to New York, Pop. it's Pa. 146 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,916 I'll stay at your house, write me poetry and watch the kids. 147 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,817 You can go to New York with Mom. It's Ma. 148 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:25,984 Oh, the kids'll bother you. Nah, I love kids. 149 00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:29,028 As far as I'm concerned, this is a perfect setup, 150 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,564 Pa. 151 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:34,598 Thanks, son. 152 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,743 I don't like it. 153 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:48,213 How can we leave our kids in the hands of a stranger? 154 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,218 How can we leave a stranger in the hands ofour kids? 155 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,689 It's him or nobody, Ma. We don't know a thing about this Mnjones. 156 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:01,853 Well, I'm a pretty good judge of character, 157 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:05,990 and that boy has an honest face if ever I saw one. 158 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,466 Take another look. 159 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,204 All he needs is a shave. 160 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,243 Take a lawn mower to shave him. 161 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:22,077 What's his business? He's a poet. 162 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,140 A Poet! 163 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:28,586 An honest to goodness poet stayin' at my house! 164 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,713 Why didn't you say so? 165 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,394 I'm Ma, Mnjones. 166 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,628 A pleasure, madam. You're even prettier than your picture. 167 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,899 That's Kim, my daughter-in-law. 168 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,873 You could fool me anytime! 169 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,137 Pa says you're a poet. 170 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:54,544 Why, I, uh-- I dabble at it. 171 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:59,279 I don't know much about poetry, but I used to recite a poem for the kids. 172 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,652 I don't know whether I remember it or not. Well, go on, try. 173 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:07,421 “Tom, Torn, the piper's son stole a pig- ♪ A heistjob. 174 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:11,327 “Tom, Torn, the piper's son stole a pig and away he run.” 175 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:15,664 Took it on the lam? No, Mary had the lamb. This was a pig. 176 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:19,433 “The pig was eat and Tom was beat. And Tom went- ♪ 177 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,406 Now, where did he go? Up the river? 178 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,001 No, it wasn't up any river. 179 00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,512 Maybe he went to the rock. 180 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,878 No, it wasn't any rock. Oh, I know. 181 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,883 “The pig was eat and Tom was beat. 182 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,886 And Tom went marching down the street.“ 183 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,651 Gee, I like that. I'm glad you do. 184 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:42,889 It's got a moral: “Crime don't pay.“ 185 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:49,424 Now, get this, Louie. They're leaving for New York tomorrow. 186 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,403 I'm givin' them the bag with the hundred Gs in it. 187 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:55,202 Don't worry, they're square. [ Doorbell Chiming] 188 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,766 Hold on, Louie. 189 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,814 I have your monthly quota of Bubble-Ola. Bring it in. 190 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:10,652 Where'll I put it? Right here. Anywhere's all right. 191 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,351 They check into the Waldorf on Saturday. 192 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,829 With their kissers, nobody'll suspect they're carrying the stuff. 193 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:21,561 Shotgun, ain't this risky? They may be smarter than they look. 194 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,568 They'd have to be. 195 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,702 I'm sending a snapshot so you'll recognize them. 196 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,707 We gotta take this chance. 197 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,369 New York is the only place we can shove the hot money. 198 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,709 Suppose Kettle opens the bag. Then what? 199 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,545 He won't. I'm a good judge of character, 200 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,019 and this ol' boy has an honest face if I've ever seen one. 201 00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,556 Call me the minute you get the bag. Ow! 202 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,318 What happened? 203 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:49,555 What a collection of brats! 204 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:54,430 These people are raising their own reform school. Now, Louie-- 205 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,299 You-- 206 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,932 Howdy! 207 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,170 Run along and play, little one. 208 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:16,217 I'd sooner drink D.D.T. 209 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:22,225 So, good-bye, dear brother Louie. 210 00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:26,458 And don't forget to take me poetry books back to the library. 211 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,694 Huh? 212 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,635 Well, they're overdue and it ain't nice... 213 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,638 to keep things that don't belong to us. 214 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,073 Hey, Shotgun, you all right? 215 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,825 [Motor Whirs] 216 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,103 Benjamin's underweight. No, George is underweight. 217 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,705 No, it's Sarah. Which one of you kids is underweight? 218 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,307 Me, Ma! Oh, Billy. Of course! 219 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,318 Be sure he gets plenty to eat. 220 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,445 And keep Rosie and Ted from fightin'. 221 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:26,685 Make sure the kids have a big breakfast before they go off to school. 222 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,990 Pa, I don't think we oughta go. 223 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,963 It's gonna be too much for Mnjones. You gotta go. 224 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,831 It's the first vacation you've ever had. Don't worry. 225 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,996 Leave everything to me. I won't take me eyes off'em for a minute. 226 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,540 Ow! 227 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:43,701 Ah, Willie! He's a rascal. 228 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,245 You gotta watch him. I sure will. 229 00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:48,713 Come on, folks. Time to get aboard. 230 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,478 Come on, Pa. 231 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:56,015 Pa! Hey, Pa! 232 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,147 Howdy, Geoduck. 233 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,955 Howdy, Crowba r. Mm m. 234 00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,757 Good-bye gift. It's a dandy. 235 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,763 Look inside. 236 00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:12,136 Well, that's mighty nice of you. 237 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,969 What's it for? Pa take to New York. 238 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,305 Buy back Manhattan Island... for us. 239 00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,209 I see. 240 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,874 All aboard! 241 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:28,614 Uh, Ma, Pa. I promised to send this empty bag to me brother. 242 00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:30,849 Doyou mind? Be glad to oblige. 243 00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,756 Where'll we find him? He'll pick it up at the hotel. 244 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,851 [ Train Whistle Blowing] 245 00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,862 All aboard! 246 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,558 Bye. Bye. 247 00:21:55,381 --> 00:21:59,409 Al/aboard' Come on, Pa! You kids bring the bags. 248 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:10,859 [Whistle Blowing] 249 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:36,453 Don't hold much with trains underground. 250 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:39,389 Feel like a gopher when you come out. 251 00:22:40,392 --> 00:22:44,795 [ P.A. Announcer, indistinct] 252 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,963 How 'bout a redcap, mister? 253 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,938 No, thanks. I'm a derby man myself. 254 00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:57,942 Had this one 15 years. 255 00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:00,644 Ma and Pa! 256 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,307 Oh, there's Kim! 257 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,544 Ma and Pa, how are you? 258 00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:08,246 How are ya? You both look wonderful! 259 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,346 Where's Tom? He's trying to raise money for his incubator. 260 00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:15,917 He'll meet us back at the hotel. Nice-lookin' city. 261 00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:20,057 Pa, this is the station. Wait till you get outside. 262 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,692 Let me help you with your bags. All right. 263 00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:28,002 [ Horn Honking] [ Woman] Taxi! 264 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:31,065 Taxi! Taxi! 265 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,578 Taxi! Taxi! 266 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:39,311 Taxi! Taxi! 267 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:47,257 Taxi! Taxi! 268 00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:50,091 Taxi! Taxi! 269 00:24:00,706 --> 00:24:04,040 Hello, Mr. Masterson. Glad to see you back. 270 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,976 Roberts, I'm staying at the club tonight. Take the luggage. 271 00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:10,812 Yes, sir. I'll tell Mrs. Masterson. 272 00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:41,080 Cmon, Kim. Cmon, Pa. 273 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:16,444 You can see better up here, Ma. 274 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:43,975 Howdy. 275 00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:57,718 Never mind, Pa. The bellhops'll take care of that. 276 00:26:13,539 --> 00:26:16,008 I could've sworn I brought it. 277 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:19,340 I'll look in the lobby, sir. Was it tagged? It had Pa's name on it, 278 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:21,345 in care of the Waldorf-Astoria. 279 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:25,611 I'll check with Grand Central Station. That's mighty nice. 280 00:26:25,684 --> 00:26:28,051 Oh, boy. 281 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,054 Thank you. 282 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:34,384 What'd you do that for? You owe the boy money? 283 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,394 That's a tip. 284 00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:38,692 In New York, when people do things for you, you give them money. 285 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,994 Don't seem right. 286 00:26:41,066 --> 00:26:45,003 Ma's always doing things for me, and I ain't had to give her a cent. 287 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,368 [ Doorbell Buzzes] 288 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:51,933 Don't stand there, Pa. Go ahead and answer the door. 289 00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:03,187 I'm a friend of Louie's. 290 00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:05,952 He sent me for the bag his brother give ya. 291 00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:08,459 I don't have it. What? 292 00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:11,827 Well, I, I-- They, uh-- What'd you say, Ma? 293 00:27:11,897 --> 00:27:14,730 Our things haven't come from the station yet. 294 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,895 Yeah? 295 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:21,133 Well, I'll keep in touch with you. 296 00:27:23,675 --> 00:27:27,077 I didn't have the heart to tell the boy we lost it. 297 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:30,639 Don't feel good about losin' somebody else's property. 298 00:27:30,716 --> 00:27:34,050 - Was there anything valuable in it? - He said it was empty. 299 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,588 Ifit don't show up, we'll buy him another one. 300 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:40,319 Ma, that idea is a lulu! 301 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:43,089 Shouldn't be too hard to match. 302 00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:47,690 Town as big as this must have a general store. 303 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:53,904 Looks just like the postcard Tom sent us. 304 00:27:53,972 --> 00:27:56,031 Hello, Louie? Littlejoe. 305 00:27:56,108 --> 00:27:58,543 Kettle got here, but the black bag didn't. 306 00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:00,669 What? just like I said. 307 00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:05,582 They tell me the bag ain't come from the station, but their room is full of luggage. 308 00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:08,518 I warned Munger about this! 309 00:28:08,587 --> 00:28:12,455 Kettle's trying to cut himself in. He's got to have that bag someplace. 310 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:16,859 Don't let him out of your sight. He's got the bag somewhere, and we're gonna get it! 311 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:20,698 Hello. How do you do? 312 00:28:20,766 --> 00:28:23,792 Don't tell me. You're Ma and Pa Kettle. 313 00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:27,237 Guess who I am. 1.]. Schumacher of the Bubble-Ola Company. 314 00:28:27,306 --> 00:28:31,971 How do you like New York? Great city! No place on earth like it. 315 00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:34,638 How'd you like your trip? I knew you'd like it. 316 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,808 How do you like these accommodations? 317 00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:41,649 You can 5a y that again! There isn't a finersuite in the Waldorf-Astoria. 318 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,849 Is this all Bubble-Ola is gonna do for you? No sirree. 319 00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:48,450 Have we got a program planned for you! And how! 320 00:28:48,527 --> 00:28:51,053 You're going to the Rendezvous Room of the Plaza for dinner... 321 00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:53,496 and back here to the Starlight Room for dancing. 322 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:56,500 You'll shop in the best stores on Fifth Avenue-- [ Doorbell Buzzes ] 323 00:28:56,568 --> 00:29:00,004 Excuse me. 324 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:03,906 Come in. Put it right down there. 325 00:29:03,976 --> 00:29:06,308 And pour it. Thank you, sir. 326 00:29:06,378 --> 00:29:09,348 You'll see the best shows on Broadway, the ball game, Coney Island. 327 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,281 Are you gonna have fun? You bet you are. 328 00:29:12,351 --> 00:29:16,310 Now, here's your schedule and your tickets. 329 00:29:16,388 --> 00:29:21,827 How much is this gonna cost? Nothing. It's all on Bubble-Ola. 330 00:29:21,893 --> 00:29:24,658 Know what this is? Bubble-Ola. 331 00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:27,961 Took the liberty of ordering a toast. 332 00:29:28,033 --> 00:29:29,967 There you are. 333 00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:33,596 To the Kettles! Long may they wave! 334 00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:40,570 Ahh! You have no idea what this does for your stomach. 335 00:29:40,646 --> 00:29:43,115 What time is it? 336 00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:45,582 Oh, gotta run! Busy man. 337 00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,755 I'll see you later. Want to hear more about your trip. 338 00:29:54,559 --> 00:29:57,358 Hey, do the Kettles live here? Oh, Tom! 339 00:29:57,429 --> 00:29:59,363 Howdy, son. Hiya, Pa. 340 00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:01,331 Hello. Hello. 341 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,529 Oh, hello, Ma! Bless your heart. 342 00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:07,538 Let me look at you. You haven't changed a bit. 343 00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:10,098 You think so? Well, I'd know you anywhere. 344 00:30:10,175 --> 00:30:12,405 Oh, Tom! 345 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,605 Hello, Pa. 346 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,876 It sure is good to see you two. 347 00:30:16,948 --> 00:30:19,576 Sure do things funny here. 348 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:22,677 Back home you couldn't keep a young married couple from kissin'! 349 00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:27,424 Well. 350 00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:29,324 Hmph! 351 00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:32,386 I guess I have incubators on my mind. 352 00:30:32,464 --> 00:30:35,923 Got a problem? About $ 70,000 worth. 353 00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:39,938 I can't go into production until I get it. If you weren't so stubborn-- 354 00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:42,940 Look, Ma, all he has to do is-- All I have to do... 355 00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:47,741 is find the bank that will lend me the money. 356 00:30:47,813 --> 00:30:51,215 Sit down, Ma. I got a million questions to ask you. 357 00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:55,083 Numbers one to fourteen, how are the kids? Oh,just fine. 358 00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:58,418 Hope they're not gettin' in that nice Mr.jones's hair. 359 00:31:02,227 --> 00:31:06,255 Mlijones, did Benjamin throw his oatmeal at you? 360 00:31:06,331 --> 00:31:10,996 No. I got a poor memory. I forgot where my mouth was. 361 00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:15,302 Why did you throw your oatmeal at Mnjones? I don't want any more. 362 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:18,708 I don't blame him! Since Ma left, all we eat is oatmeal. 363 00:31:18,777 --> 00:31:21,576 Yeah. I've eaten so much of this stuff, 364 00:31:21,646 --> 00:31:25,207 every time I sit down I squish. 365 00:31:25,283 --> 00:31:28,116 Mnjones, maybe we'd better get one of Ma's friends... 366 00:31:28,186 --> 00:31:31,417 to come in and help. No, no, no! I, coul-- Uh-- 367 00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:34,391 I couldn't write me poetry with too many people around. 368 00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:38,453 I don't need help. Benjie's a good boy. 369 00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:42,057 This time we're gonna eat our cereal. Ain't we, Benjie? 370 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:46,731 Nope! I wanna play leapfrog. Not now! 371 00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:51,208 Come on, Benjamin. It'll put muscles on ya. 372 00:31:51,276 --> 00:31:53,267 Open your mouth. 373 00:31:54,713 --> 00:31:58,547 It'll grow hair on your chest. Open your mouth, Benjamin. 374 00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:02,413 Open your mouth. 375 00:32:02,487 --> 00:32:04,546 Open your mouth. 376 00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:06,648 Open your-- on! 377 00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:08,659 Somebody get me a towel! 378 00:32:08,727 --> 00:32:10,957 [Laughing] 379 00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:13,726 I Munger] Hurry! A napkin! 380 00:32:19,638 --> 00:32:22,733 Ow'. [ Laughing] 381 00:32:27,913 --> 00:32:29,881 Stop it! 382 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:34,146 [ Doorbell Chimes] Don't nobody move. 383 00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:37,052 I'll be right back. 384 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:41,184 [ Chimes Continue] Take it easy. I'm comin'! 385 00:32:46,932 --> 00:32:49,333 Here's the rest of your monthly allotment of Bubble-Ola. 386 00:32:49,401 --> 00:32:52,860 More? Every month for the next ten years. 387 00:32:59,277 --> 00:33:02,645 Say, that's a sweet setup you got here. What was that? 388 00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:06,150 Look at all those buttons: radio, television, windows. 389 00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:08,312 Everything's automatic. 390 00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:11,117 Yeah? Yeah. 391 00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:14,716 [ Children Laughing] 392 00:33:14,793 --> 00:33:16,955 I told you to stay in there. 393 00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:19,326 We want to play leapfrog. No, you're too wild. 394 00:33:19,397 --> 00:33:23,129 Can we play the radio? Yeah, anything to keep you quiet. 395 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,830 [Laughing, Shouting] 396 00:33:28,907 --> 00:33:33,936 JM Radio: Fanfare] 397 00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:37,471 Good morning. And now for the 9:00 news. 398 00:33:37,549 --> 00:33:40,746 State police are still baffled by the disappearance of notorious bank robber... 399 00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:43,254 Shotgun Munger, who is believed to be hiding out... 400 00:33:43,321 --> 00:33:46,222 in Oregon or Washington. 401 00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:49,352 Munger is 5 '70 ” tall, has brown hair-- 402 00:33:51,897 --> 00:33:56,061 You don't want radio, not when you got television. 403 00:33:57,736 --> 00:34:01,969 [TV] The next criminal on KTjT's “Cash For Clues“ program is... 404 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,940 Shotgun Munger. 405 00:34:11,016 --> 00:34:15,078 We want the television. Come on! Let's play leapfrog. 406 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:18,318 Okay, now it's your turn. 407 00:34:20,425 --> 00:34:25,864 - [TV] Shotgun Munger- -;;[ Radio] 408 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:48,387 [ Spieler] See the sign. It's only a buck for the trip. 409 00:34:48,453 --> 00:34:51,548 Step right in. just got room for two more. 410 00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:55,218 See New York for a buck. My feet are killin' me. 411 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:58,160 Everywhere you look there's more tall buildings. 412 00:34:58,229 --> 00:35:00,596 Look at that one over there. 413 00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,895 [ Guide ] See New York! 414 00:35:04,970 --> 00:35:08,270 Hurry hurry! See the Bowery. See Chinatown... 415 00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:11,105 and also other places of interest. 416 00:35:11,176 --> 00:35:15,511 Step right up. Only two seats left. See New York for a buck. 417 00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:18,049 It'd save a heap ofwalkin', Ma. 418 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,050 It'd save my feet. 419 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:24,248 Why walk when you can see New York from a comfortable seat? 420 00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:27,314 Attaboy, Pop. Okay! 421 00:35:27,392 --> 00:35:29,793 I gotta get on that bus! Sorry, full up. 422 00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:33,593 But I gotta see New York. It'll still be here. 423 00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:39,761 Follow that bus. It's a sightseeing bus. 424 00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:42,273 Follow it! Okay! It's your dough. 425 00:35:46,344 --> 00:35:50,406 [Guide] Folks, we 're now on New York'; famous Fifih A venue. 426 00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:53,782 On your left, you are passing the New York Public Library, 427 00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:55,786 the world's largest. 428 00:35:55,854 --> 00:35:58,915 [Woman] Look at the lions,junior. 429 00:36:00,525 --> 00:36:03,961 We'd like to see the library too. 430 00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:13,597 You're now coming to the famous St. Patrickk Cathedral. 431 00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:18,405 There it is on your right. 432 00:36:20,445 --> 00:36:24,143 Pardon. Like to see the Cathedral. 433 00:36:31,089 --> 00:36:33,581 Cmon, Pa. Let's get outta here. 434 00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:36,286 But lady, I thought you wanted to see New York. 435 00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:38,955 We do! That's why we're gettin' off. 436 00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:52,770 This looks like Mr.jones's bag. 437 00:36:52,844 --> 00:36:55,370 I don't reckon you can tell the difference. No. 438 00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:57,415 Can I help you? How much do you want? 439 00:36:57,482 --> 00:37:00,645 Eight dollars. You better keep your eye on this one. 440 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:05,885 You bet. Eight dollars is a lot of money to put in a bag. 441 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:07,891 Ten dollars. Thank you. 442 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:10,121 Two dollars back, please. Yes, sir. 443 00:37:12,464 --> 00:37:16,697 See the New York “Panor-rama.“ 444 00:37:18,103 --> 00:37:20,902 What's panor-rama, Ma? 445 00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:23,532 Everybody knows what a pam-aroma is. 446 00:37:23,608 --> 00:37:27,340 Well, what is it? It's a place over on, uh-- 447 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:30,006 Something where they have, uh, kind of a-- 448 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:34,541 Why don't you go and see for yourself! I will. 449 00:37:55,573 --> 00:37:59,373 In direct line from us is the Empire State Building, 450 00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:01,742 the world's tallest building. 451 00:38:01,813 --> 00:38:05,443 To our right, along thejersey coast on Bedloe's Island, 452 00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:07,611 is the Statue of Liberty. 453 00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:09,653 Pa, come here quick! 454 00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:12,588 Look! Look! 455 00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:17,758 The river beyond to the right-- Look! Look! 456 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:19,763 Look how small the people look. 457 00:38:19,831 --> 00:38:23,028 Look at those little cars! Look at the buses! 458 00:38:23,101 --> 00:38:25,695 If you want me to look at all the things down there, 459 00:38:25,770 --> 00:38:28,262 Why'd you bring me up here? 460 00:38:28,339 --> 00:38:30,740 [Guide] 1,050 feet high. 461 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:36,270 I wonder how long this would take to get down there. 462 00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:38,372 Oh, Pa! You shouldn't have. 463 00:38:38,449 --> 00:38:43,046 [ Guide] The first bridge crossing the East River is the Williamsburg Bridge. 464 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:45,749 Next, Manhattan Bridge; and third, 465 00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:49,021 the oldest and more fiamous, the Brooklyn Bridge. Stop! Stop! 466 00:38:49,093 --> 00:38:52,723 Ma, he took the bag. He took it. 467 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,501 Yes, we'll just have-- 468 00:39:05,743 --> 00:39:10,203 Hmm. Took longer than I expected. 469 00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:16,620 This is a waste of time, watching Louie's place. 470 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:19,055 Mungerisn't gonna show. 471 00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:21,421 No, but the dough might. Nah! 472 00:39:21,492 --> 00:39:23,893 Well, they gotta-- Hey! 473 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,000 Littlejoe. Yeah. 474 00:39:33,071 --> 00:39:36,063 Must be a payoff. He's carrying a black bag. 475 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:39,166 The money they took from the bank was in a black bag. 476 00:39:39,244 --> 00:39:41,679 That's it. Let's go. 477 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:53,046 I got it, Louie. I got it. Good work. 478 00:39:53,124 --> 00:39:55,889 You're right. Kettle is up to something. 479 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,088 He gets on the bus without the bag. 480 00:39:58,162 --> 00:40:00,358 A few minutes later, I pick him up with it. 481 00:40:00,431 --> 00:40:03,230 They must be working with someone. Baby, I love ya. 482 00:40:03,301 --> 00:40:05,702 A hundred grand! 483 00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:08,762 - Okay, Louie, drop the bag. - What do you want, copper? 484 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:13,368 Just the black bag with $100,000 from the bankjob. Open it, Mike. 485 00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:16,004 Yeah. 486 00:40:31,229 --> 00:40:34,893 Hey, Sam, it's empty. lt'sjust like I said. 487 00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:37,298 Empty? It can't be! 488 00:40:37,368 --> 00:40:41,532 Well-- Look for yourself. 489 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:47,375 Uh, fellas-- Excuse us. Accidents can, uh-- 490 00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:50,039 Well, so long. [Laughing] 491 00:40:52,717 --> 00:40:54,583 Hey, what a break! 492 00:40:54,652 --> 00:40:57,212 Are we lucky there wasn't any money in that bag. 493 00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:59,882 If there was money in that bag-- 494 00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:03,189 No money! That Kettle! 495 00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:05,787 This is his way ofteiiin' us he wants a cut. 496 00:41:05,863 --> 00:41:08,195 Nobody does this to us. 497 00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:10,860 That's our dough and we don't have to make a deal. 498 00:41:10,935 --> 00:41:12,926 Littlejoe, keep after Kettle. 499 00:41:13,004 --> 00:41:16,406 From now on we meet at Tony's place. Thisjoint is too hot. 500 00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:21,572 Why would anyone want to steal a bag, 501 00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,705 especially an empty bag? 502 00:41:23,781 --> 00:41:25,772 Pa, you're gonna have to watch yourself. 503 00:41:25,850 --> 00:41:27,784 Trouble ain't with watchin' myself. 504 00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:31,220 It's with watching those black bags. 505 00:41:31,289 --> 00:41:35,453 You and Ma hurry or we're never gonna get a table. 506 00:41:39,831 --> 00:41:42,163 Why didn't you make a reservation? 507 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:44,600 I did, but they're not gonna hold it forever. 508 00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:47,536 Tom, why couldn't you have been here earlier? 509 00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:49,664 Why, why. why? 510 00:41:49,741 --> 00:41:52,733 When you're trying to convince bankers to give you a loan, you don't say: 511 00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:56,713 “Think fast. I have to take my parents to a nightclub.“ 512 00:41:56,781 --> 00:41:58,875 We have to get another bag for Mr.jones's brother. 513 00:41:58,950 --> 00:42:02,944 Do that in the morning. He might come tonight. We don't want to disappoint him. 514 00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:06,184 I'll get it now. What kind of bag was it? 515 00:42:06,257 --> 00:42:10,023 It was, um, uh-- Kim remembers. She'll go with ya. 516 00:42:10,094 --> 00:42:13,086 Come on. Bye. 517 00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:16,099 We'll meet you downstairs in 1 O minutes. 518 00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:18,226 Hurry up. All right, son. 519 00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:25,673 Here it is. Oh, that's the bag. 520 00:42:25,743 --> 00:42:29,008 Got to put it in the room where it'll be safe. 521 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,276 I'll just have to keep the cab waiting. 522 00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:36,745 Uh, pardon me, buddy. You got a match? 523 00:42:36,821 --> 00:42:40,621 Got one here somewhere. 524 00:42:40,691 --> 00:42:42,682 Mind holding this? 525 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:46,697 I'm sure I got one here somewhere. 526 00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:52,503 Hey, you got my bag. 527 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,039 You know it? You got my bag. 528 00:42:55,106 --> 00:42:57,165 Stop that man! 529 00:42:58,943 --> 00:43:01,002 Stop this thing! 530 00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:03,104 Pa, what happened to you? 531 00:43:03,181 --> 00:43:05,980 He didn't wait for the match. He took the bag instead. 532 00:43:06,050 --> 00:43:09,816 That makes three bags. There's something rotten in Denmark. 533 00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:12,254 It ain't good in New York either. 534 00:43:12,323 --> 00:43:13,552 ,','[Violins] 535 00:43:30,975 --> 00:43:34,809 Why can't you get a table? For the simple-- 536 00:43:34,879 --> 00:43:38,042 You were so slow, they canceled the reservation. 537 00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:41,416 I was slow? I like that! 538 00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:48,619 Mr. Gigi, isn't there some way you could get us a table? 539 00:43:48,693 --> 00:43:50,991 I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. 540 00:43:51,062 --> 00:43:53,861 There will be at least one hour wait. 541 00:43:53,931 --> 00:43:56,366 Thank you. 542 00:43:56,434 --> 00:43:58,869 It'll be at least an hour before we can get a table. 543 00:43:58,936 --> 00:44:00,927 We could go to the Starlite Roof. 544 00:44:01,005 --> 00:44:03,440 It'll bejust as crowded there. 545 00:44:03,508 --> 00:44:07,103 Do all nightclubs have hat stores? 546 00:44:07,178 --> 00:44:09,237 Huh? 547 00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:14,444 Pa, that's a checkroom. You give your hat to the girl. 548 00:44:14,519 --> 00:44:18,046 She '// watch it for you. She's gonna watch my hat? 549 00:44:18,122 --> 00:44:21,456 Do New Yorkers have a hankerin' for hats too? 550 00:44:21,526 --> 00:44:24,962 [Chuckling] Give me the hat. 551 00:44:26,797 --> 00:44:29,232 Pardon me. Kim! 552 00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:32,361 George, what a pleasant surprise! 553 00:44:32,436 --> 00:44:35,098 How's the prettiest girl in town? 554 00:44:35,173 --> 00:44:38,632 My mother and father-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Kettle, George Donahue. 555 00:44:38,709 --> 00:44:41,679 Pleased to meet you. Mr. Kettle. Howdy. 556 00:44:41,746 --> 00:44:44,613 You know Tom, of course. Hi, Tom. 557 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:47,583 Those plans Kim showed me on the incubator are great! 558 00:44:47,652 --> 00:44:50,781 I thought you were going to bring it down for me to see. 559 00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:54,257 Well, I've been tied up with the banks. 560 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:57,192 Don't let the bankers cheat you. Come to us. 561 00:44:57,261 --> 00:45:01,220 Besides, I've already got money tied up in it: two martinis, three dollars. 562 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:05,634 Don't forget the tip. That's right. That's seven dollars! 563 00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:09,537 You're leaving so early. We're waiting for a table. 564 00:45:09,607 --> 00:45:12,838 You still have that old influence with head waiters? 565 00:45:12,910 --> 00:45:16,369 There will be one hour's wait. 566 00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:20,350 There's nothing like finding out. I'll speak to Mr. Gigi. 567 00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,753 Good evening, Monsieur Donahue. How 'bout a table? 568 00:45:25,823 --> 00:45:28,383 For you and the young lady? No. 569 00:45:28,459 --> 00:45:31,520 Tonight we have three chaperons. 570 00:45:31,596 --> 00:45:34,258 If you're not waiting for anyone,join us. 571 00:45:34,332 --> 00:45:37,825 That's all I was waiting for. This way, please. 572 00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:41,133 I just had a cancellation. 573 00:45:41,205 --> 00:45:43,139 Come on, Ma. 574 00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:52,114 Pa, they're waiting for us. Oh. 575 00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:01,756 Maybe we didn't do the right thing in following Louie. 576 00:46:01,826 --> 00:46:04,352 Could be a decoy. What do you mean? 577 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:07,523 While we're watching him, the other mugs are busy operating. 578 00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:12,126 Might be. You watch. I'm gonna take 4O winks. 579 00:46:12,203 --> 00:46:14,331 That's what you think. Look. Hmm? 580 00:46:14,405 --> 00:46:16,339 Littlejoe with a black bag. 581 00:46:16,407 --> 00:46:18,341 Come on! 582 00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:26,747 I'm bringing home the bacon, boys! Good boy, Littlejoe! 583 00:46:26,817 --> 00:46:30,481 That's the bag, all right. I spotted Kettle's payoff man handing it to him. 584 00:46:30,554 --> 00:46:34,320 Kettle must be working with another mob, the crook! 585 00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:37,657 Baby, I love ya! A hundred grand. 586 00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:41,656 [ Policeman] I'll finish that for you, Louie. 587 00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:44,258 You'll get at least 2O years for this. 588 00:46:55,546 --> 00:46:59,244 Hey, Sam, this one's empty too. 589 00:47:01,452 --> 00:47:04,854 W-Well, uh-- 590 00:47:04,922 --> 00:47:07,550 just a routine checkup, fellas. 591 00:47:07,625 --> 00:47:10,117 We'll see you around, huh? 592 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:16,156 Well! Heh-heh-heh-heh! 593 00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:19,999 “Just a routine checkup. See you around.“ 594 00:47:20,071 --> 00:47:23,006 Kettle ain't gonna make a sucker out of us. 595 00:47:23,074 --> 00:47:25,736 I'll see him myself and I'll get that bag! 596 00:47:28,813 --> 00:47:30,747 Thank you. 597 00:47:32,383 --> 00:47:36,013 Here's your hat, Tom. Did you give the girl a quarter? 598 00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:38,556 All she give me was our hats. 599 00:47:38,622 --> 00:47:42,081 I think I better say good night. it's been a pleasure. 600 00:47:42,159 --> 00:47:45,561 Kim, it's always good to see you. Thank you for a wonderful evening. 601 00:47:45,629 --> 00:47:47,620 Donahue, what was our share of the check? 602 00:47:47,698 --> 00:47:51,464 Forget it. lfthat incubator is all Kim claims, we'll make a fortune. 603 00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:53,469 Why don't your bring it to the office? 604 00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:56,700 Why don't you cut it out? You're interested in Kim, not the incubator! 605 00:47:56,774 --> 00:47:59,004 Tom! 606 00:47:59,076 --> 00:48:02,239 I'm sorry, George. Don't apologize for me. 607 00:48:02,313 --> 00:48:06,341 You're mixed up, Tom. Good night, everyone. 608 00:48:06,417 --> 00:48:08,442 Good night. 609 00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:11,318 Ma, I'm sorry this had to happen in front of you. 610 00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:14,654 No use to apologize, honey. 611 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:17,490 It takes a while for young'uns to understand each other. 612 00:48:17,561 --> 00:48:19,620 But Tom hasn't any reason to bejealous. 613 00:48:19,697 --> 00:48:22,632 He didn't take his eyes off you for a minute. He's still in love with you. 614 00:48:22,700 --> 00:48:26,933 So what? I'm in love with you, you big-- 615 00:48:27,004 --> 00:48:30,235 Duckal-oof? 616 00:48:30,307 --> 00:48:32,605 Yes! Duckal-oofl 617 00:48:32,676 --> 00:48:35,577 Maybe I am a Duckal-oof, but-- 618 00:48:35,646 --> 00:48:38,081 I just needed to hear you say you love me. 619 00:48:38,149 --> 00:48:41,517 One good thing about married people having a quarrel: 620 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:46,284 When they make up, they find out they love each other that much more! 621 00:48:46,357 --> 00:48:48,689 Come on, folks. Let's get going. 622 00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:58,896 It's gettin' late. We better get back to the hotel. 623 00:48:58,969 --> 00:49:01,529 Got to get up early and buy another bag. 624 00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:05,098 I've got to check on those bags. It's more than coincidence. 625 00:49:05,176 --> 00:49:09,670 Look, Pa! A horse and buggy! 626 00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:15,214 Just like back home. 627 00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:18,187 We could take it to the hotel. Go ahead. We'll walk. 628 00:49:18,255 --> 00:49:22,192 Can we give you a lift? The walk'll do us good. 629 00:49:23,394 --> 00:49:25,863 Good night. Thanks for everything. 630 00:49:25,930 --> 00:49:29,366 Callyou in the morning. All right, Tom. 631 00:49:33,571 --> 00:49:36,666 Waldorf-Astoria. Sorry, sir. 632 00:49:36,740 --> 00:49:40,904 I just go round the park and come back here. That don't make sense. 633 00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:43,572 Most of me customers are young couples. 634 00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:46,412 They like to ride through the park at night. It's dark. 635 00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:49,510 Bu! there's the moon and the stars. 636 00:49:49,587 --> 00:49:51,988 You remember. 637 00:49:52,056 --> 00:49:54,923 Ma, how old do you feel? 638 00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:59,554 Pa, right now I don't feel a day over 18. 639 00:49:59,630 --> 00:50:02,656 [Laughing] 640 00:50:02,733 --> 00:50:06,260 Giddap, Charles. Once around the park. 641 00:50:09,206 --> 00:50:13,837 Never ate out of anything so fancy in all my life. 642 00:50:16,313 --> 00:50:18,247 Mighty handy- 643 00:50:18,315 --> 00:50:22,411 When you've finished eating, you can see how much is left on your face. 644 00:50:22,486 --> 00:50:24,955 [ Phone Ringing] 645 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,956 Answer the phone. 646 00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:32,121 [ Ringing Continues] 647 00:50:37,334 --> 00:50:39,769 Howdy. 648 00:50:39,837 --> 00:50:42,807 Hello, Kettle? This is Louie. 649 00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:44,967 Mr.jones's brother. 650 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:48,808 Let's not beat around the bush. I want the right bag. 651 00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:52,747 Glad to oblige. Want to pick it up here? 652 00:50:52,816 --> 00:50:56,309 Oh no, you don't. I'll meet you somewhere in the open, 653 00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:58,321 like, uh-- 654 00:51:00,157 --> 00:51:03,525 The zoo... how 'bout the Central Park Zoo? 655 00:51:03,594 --> 00:51:05,961 I'll meet ya in front of the monkeys' cage at 12:00. 656 00:51:06,030 --> 00:51:07,896 How'll I recognize you? 657 00:51:07,965 --> 00:51:10,935 I'll recognize you. just have the black bag. 658 00:51:11,001 --> 00:51:13,299 How'll I get there? 659 00:51:13,370 --> 00:51:14,838 Take a cab. 660 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,840 And Kettle, be there if you wanna stay healthy. 661 00:51:23,180 --> 00:51:26,013 Nice fella, Mr.jones's brother. 662 00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:28,017 Worried about my health. 663 00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:31,248 We gotta meet him at the zoo. You'll have to go by yourself. 664 00:51:31,322 --> 00:51:35,156 This is the morning Mr. Schumacher is sending me... 665 00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:40,061 to the Lucien et Louise de Paris Beauty “Saloon? 666 00:51:40,130 --> 00:51:43,293 Uh-huh. Well, all right, Ma. 667 00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:46,701 I'll meet you back here. 668 00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:51,867 Ah! Gotta stop and buy a bag. 669 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,708 Well, gentlemen, what do you think she needs? 670 00:52:29,046 --> 00:52:32,175 I think her eyebrows should go up. No, no. Down. 671 00:52:32,249 --> 00:52:33,808 Up. Down. 672 00:52:33,884 --> 00:52:35,818 I think-- [Together] Madam, please! 673 00:52:35,886 --> 00:52:38,617 [Clears Throat] 674 00:52:38,689 --> 00:52:42,216 I, uh, think we should give her rosebud lips. 675 00:52:42,292 --> 00:52:44,226 Bring them out. Mmm. 676 00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,160 I think they should be brought in. Mmm. 677 00:52:46,230 --> 00:52:48,164 Our! In; 678 00:52:48,232 --> 00:52:50,724 Out! I think-- 679 00:52:50,801 --> 00:52:52,360 Madam, please! 680 00:52:52,436 --> 00:52:55,167 I just want to say-- Madam, 681 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,173 look how long you've had your face. 682 00:52:57,241 --> 00:52:59,300 You've done nothing with it. 683 00:52:59,376 --> 00:53:01,242 They should be out! In! 684 00:53:01,311 --> 00:53:02,745 Out! Out: In! 685 00:53:02,813 --> 00:53:04,747 Make up your mind! 686 00:53:04,815 --> 00:53:07,512 Please, madam. A lady never has to shout. 687 00:53:07,584 --> 00:53:10,610 You can get most anything you want from a man... 688 00:53:10,688 --> 00:53:12,918 by just using your feminine charms. 689 00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:15,391 That's one of the things you will learn here. 690 00:53:15,459 --> 00:53:18,019 There is no time to waste. Let's get started. 691 00:53:18,095 --> 00:53:22,862 She'll need a new face, new wardrobe, manners, speech lessons. 692 00:53:27,004 --> 00:53:32,499 Ladies and gentlemen, Madam Kettle will need the full treatment. 693 00:53:32,576 --> 00:53:35,910 Come, come, now. This way, madam. 694 00:53:55,032 --> 00:53:58,900 Ow! Ow! 695 00:54:18,021 --> 00:54:22,652 How's it going, Harvey? Terrible. Lost two more monks yesterday. 696 00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:25,457 Poisoned peanuts again? Yeah. 697 00:54:25,529 --> 00:54:29,932 What kind of guy goes around poisoning harmless animals? A fiend! 698 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,265 If I get my hands on 'im, I'll beat his brains in. 699 00:54:33,337 --> 00:54:35,829 I'd better not catch him. 700 00:54:39,143 --> 00:54:41,077 Howdy. 701 00:54:43,013 --> 00:54:46,005 Have a peanut? 702 00:54:46,083 --> 00:54:50,247 [ Monkey Chattering] 703 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,618 Hey, don't feed the animals. 704 00:54:52,689 --> 00:54:55,351 Why not? I've been doin' it all my life. 705 00:54:55,425 --> 00:54:57,894 Try it again, wise guy, and I'll run ya in! 706 00:55:07,838 --> 00:55:10,500 Kettle? 707 00:55:10,574 --> 00:55:13,544 Mr. Louie? Yeah. 708 00:55:13,610 --> 00:55:15,578 You alone? Oh, sure. 709 00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:19,378 I can handle this myself. You're callin' the signals. 710 00:55:19,449 --> 00:55:23,784 What's the deal on the bag? Your brother said to give it to you. 711 00:55:23,854 --> 00:55:28,951 You know, you don't look much like your brother. Don't stall me. 712 00:55:29,026 --> 00:55:31,620 Okay, Kettle. Gimme the bag. 713 00:55:31,695 --> 00:55:33,629 With pleasure, Mr. Louie. 714 00:55:33,697 --> 00:55:36,291 I also want to give you this. Oh, no, you don't! 715 00:55:36,366 --> 00:55:39,563 You'll want the key. Hey, wait a minute. 716 00:55:42,472 --> 00:55:44,497 Nervous fella. 717 00:55:44,575 --> 00:55:46,942 Not friendly like his brother. 718 00:55:53,951 --> 00:55:58,013 Why that dirty, double-crossin' rat! 719 00:55:59,923 --> 00:56:03,325 What'd I tell you about feeding the animals? 720 00:56:03,393 --> 00:56:05,418 But I didn't! 721 00:56:05,495 --> 00:56:08,192 He was, uh-- Peanuts! 722 00:56:08,265 --> 00:56:10,427 Poisoned peanuts! 723 00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:13,834 You! You murderer, you! You fiend! 724 00:56:13,904 --> 00:56:16,396 What's the matter? This man is a killer. 725 00:56:16,473 --> 00:56:19,568 No! I know a killer when I see one. 726 00:56:24,181 --> 00:56:28,982 Come on. Confess. You poisoned the animals. Admit it. 727 00:56:29,052 --> 00:56:30,884 Why'd you do it? 728 00:56:30,954 --> 00:56:34,015 Come on, sign this confession. 729 00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:39,120 Like to oblige you, but I'd be puttin' my name to a lie. 730 00:56:41,531 --> 00:56:44,398 Look, Pop. It's Pa. 731 00:56:47,004 --> 00:56:50,338 Sign that and we'll turn off the light. 732 00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:53,468 I wish you wouldn't. It feels good. 733 00:56:53,543 --> 00:56:59,004 If you'd move it over here, it'd take the dampness out of my bones. 734 00:56:59,082 --> 00:57:03,246 £0ok, Kettle, we let you call your wife. But if you don't talk, you won't see her. 735 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,449 Talk! Talk! Talk! 736 00:57:06,523 --> 00:57:10,323 All right. What'll we talk about? 737 00:57:17,167 --> 00:57:19,397 He's a tough nut to crack. 738 00:57:19,469 --> 00:57:23,497 Grilling a monkey poisoner. Nice assignment. 739 00:57:23,573 --> 00:57:25,940 If we don't break him, that lieutenant is gonna have us... 740 00:57:26,009 --> 00:57:30,571 back in uniform pounding the pavement. 741 00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,351 Talk! Talk! Talk! 742 00:57:45,262 --> 00:57:48,061 You think Munger andjones are the same? 743 00:57:48,131 --> 00:57:51,499 With what you told me about the bags, I'd say yes. 744 00:57:51,568 --> 00:57:54,162 But we've got to have positive identification. 745 00:57:54,237 --> 00:57:58,071 Where can I get ahold of your father? He's at the Waldorf. 746 00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:01,441 Get me the Waldorf. If he isn't there? 747 00:58:01,511 --> 00:58:03,536 Probably out seeing the sights. 748 00:58:04,081 --> 00:58:08,643 Confess you poisoned the monkeys and we'll give you a cigarette. 749 00:58:08,719 --> 00:58:12,087 Thanks, but I don't smoke cigarettes. 750 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:16,058 You're only human. How much more of this do you think you can take? 751 00:58:16,126 --> 00:58:18,823 Admit you fed the monkeys. 752 00:58:18,895 --> 00:58:22,229 Sure. But they gotta eat, too, you know. 753 00:58:22,299 --> 00:58:26,327 Funny town. Get arrested for feeding animals. 754 00:58:26,403 --> 00:58:29,668 But people take my black bags and no one does nothin'. 755 00:58:29,740 --> 00:58:35,270 New Yorkers are the finest people ever I see, but they got a weakness for black bags. 756 00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,973 Now look, Kettle-- 757 00:58:38,048 --> 00:58:40,278 Black bags? 758 00:58:40,350 --> 00:58:42,648 Black bags! 759 00:58:42,719 --> 00:58:46,747 I'll be right back. 760 00:58:46,823 --> 00:58:50,418 Is there a chance the bag with the money being returned to Pa? 761 00:58:50,494 --> 00:58:54,431 Very unlikely. Without it, there's no evidence to convict the Munger mob. 762 00:58:54,498 --> 00:58:56,660 Lieutenant, that animal poisoner? 763 00:58:56,733 --> 00:58:58,667 Don't bother me with animal poisoners! 764 00:58:58,735 --> 00:59:03,036 He said he had black bags stolen from him. Black bags stolen? 765 00:59:03,106 --> 00:59:07,407 Is he a thin man who wears a derby? That's him. 766 00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:10,139 That's Pa. Where have you got him? Wait a minute. 767 00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:12,147 I got an idea. Stay here. 768 00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:15,515 Don't worry about your father. I've got a plan. Come on, Eskow. 769 00:59:17,788 --> 00:59:19,813 Hi, Lieutenant. Hello, Hawkshaw. 770 00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,757 Gimme the keys to the Rogues Gallery file. 771 00:59:22,826 --> 00:59:25,659 Thank you. 772 00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:29,029 [ Ma In Distinguished Voice] I'd like to see Mr. Kettle. 773 00:59:29,099 --> 00:59:31,090 [Wolf Whistle] 774 00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:40,335 I said, I'd like to see Mr. Kettle. 775 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,640 You can't see him now. 776 00:59:42,712 --> 00:59:45,545 But he called me. You can't see him. 777 00:59:45,615 --> 00:59:47,549 Why? What' re they dam' to hm? 778 00:59:47,617 --> 00:59:51,485 I'm sorry. I can't give out that information. 779 00:59:51,555 --> 00:59:53,489 It's against the rules. 780 00:59:53,557 --> 00:59:56,652 Look, you-- 781 00:59:56,726 --> 01:00:00,424 I was hoping you could help me. 782 01:00:00,497 --> 01:00:04,161 You know, my weakness is men in uniform. 783 01:00:04,234 --> 01:00:08,330 You're kind of" cute. 784 01:00:08,405 --> 01:00:10,931 What's your name, big boy? Well, 785 01:00:11,007 --> 01:00:15,069 everybody thinks it's Hank, but it's really Horace. 786 01:00:15,145 --> 01:00:19,013 Horace! My favorite name. 787 01:00:19,082 --> 01:00:21,574 Oh. 788 01:00:21,651 --> 01:00:24,746 I'd appreciate it personally... 789 01:00:24,821 --> 01:00:28,917 if you told me what they're doin' to Mr. Kettle. 790 01:00:28,992 --> 01:00:32,053 It's against the rules, but they're grilling him. 791 01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:36,032 Grillin' him! Uh...grilling him? 792 01:00:36,099 --> 01:00:38,466 Yeah, questioning him. 793 01:00:38,535 --> 01:00:42,062 Where, Horace? Which room? 794 01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:44,631 I couldn't tell you that. 795 01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:48,201 This means a lot to me, Horace. 796 01:00:48,278 --> 01:00:52,408 And it could mean a lot to you too. 797 01:00:53,850 --> 01:00:58,014 It's the door marked “Private? 798 01:00:58,088 --> 01:01:00,352 Thanks. 799 01:01:00,423 --> 01:01:03,859 Thank you, Horace. 800 01:01:12,469 --> 01:01:14,597 Talk! Talk! Talk! 801 01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:17,971 I come afterya, Pa. What's goin' on in here? 802 01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:21,272 Oh, you sure look pretty, Ma. 803 01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:24,473 [Sniffing] And smell pretty too! 804 01:01:24,548 --> 01:01:28,576 Mmm, never mind the sweet talk! What've they been doin' to ya? 805 01:01:28,652 --> 01:01:32,145 Nothin'. It's been right sociable. 806 01:01:32,222 --> 01:01:35,317 I'm takin'you outta here, Pa. just a minute, lady! 807 01:01:35,392 --> 01:01:37,258 What about his habeas corpus? 808 01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:39,853 I'm takin' that too! 809 01:01:44,668 --> 01:01:46,932 Mrs. Kettle? Yes, that's me. 810 01:01:47,003 --> 01:01:50,633 There's been a misunderstanding. We wanted to speak to Mr. Kettle... 811 01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:53,233 about the black bags and somehow this happened. 812 01:01:53,310 --> 01:01:57,907 How'd you know about the black bags? Your son phoned us. 813 01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:01,781 I have pictures of the men we think might have stolen your bags. 814 01:02:01,851 --> 01:02:03,842 Recognize this guy? 815 01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:05,786 I Pa 1 The absent-minded fellow. 816 01:02:05,855 --> 01:02:08,722 Wouldn't wait for the match. Took the bag instead. 817 01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:10,851 How 'bout this guy? 818 01:02:10,927 --> 01:02:13,862 Oh, that's Mr. jones, the poet. 819 01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:15,557 He gave us the bag. 820 01:02:15,632 --> 01:02:20,126 Of course! How did this get in here? He's a great poet! 821 01:02:20,203 --> 01:02:24,401 I'm one of his fans! We'll get to work right away. You're free to go. 822 01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:26,909 Thanks. How do we get back to the hotel? 823 01:02:26,977 --> 01:02:30,936 Take the subway and get offin four stops. Cmon, Eskow. 824 01:02:31,014 --> 01:02:32,948 Nice fella. 825 01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,651 Come on, Ma. Where we goin', Pa? 826 01:02:39,723 --> 01:02:42,920 For another ride through the park. Oh, Pa! 827 01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,658 The chauffeur brought this with your luggage, sir. 828 01:02:45,729 --> 01:02:47,663 I don't think it's ours. 829 01:02:49,666 --> 01:02:53,432 That's funny. Mustve picked it up at the station. 830 01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:57,838 It belongs to Mr. Kettle at the Waldorf-Astoria. Kettle? 831 01:02:57,907 --> 01:02:59,568 Kettle. Kettle. 832 01:02:59,643 --> 01:03:02,772 Not C. P. Kettle! Who's C.P. Kettle? 833 01:03:02,846 --> 01:03:06,043 You've heard of him. The underwear king. 834 01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:08,141 One of the richest men in the country. 835 01:03:08,218 --> 01:03:11,449 I've been trying to do business with him, but he never comes to New York. 836 01:03:11,521 --> 01:03:13,717 What would he be doing with a cheap bag? 837 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:17,693 He has a reputation for being stingy and eccentric. 838 01:03:17,761 --> 01:03:21,493 I wonder what's inside. 839 01:03:21,564 --> 01:03:24,727 Oh, Harold! You shouldn't! 840 01:03:27,404 --> 01:03:29,338 Money! 841 01:03:29,406 --> 01:03:32,467 Money! 842 01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:35,011 There's nothing but money! 843 01:03:41,084 --> 01:03:44,611 Operator, get me the Waldorf-Astoria. 844 01:03:44,688 --> 01:03:47,385 This'll put me in solid with the old gentleman. 845 01:03:47,457 --> 01:03:50,154 [ Phone Ringing] 846 01:03:50,226 --> 01:03:53,719 Answer the phone, Pa. 847 01:03:55,065 --> 01:03:59,730 [ Ringing Continues] 848 01:04:03,473 --> 01:04:05,373 Howdy. 849 01:04:05,442 --> 01:04:07,774 Mr. Kettle, I don't know if you remember me. 850 01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:10,745 Harold Masterson. I've written you several letters. 851 01:04:10,814 --> 01:04:12,680 Never got 'em. 852 01:04:12,749 --> 01:04:15,343 Are you the Kettle in underwear? 853 01:04:18,154 --> 01:04:20,589 Yeah, but how did you know? 854 01:04:20,657 --> 01:04:22,489 Why, everybody knows! 855 01:04:24,961 --> 01:04:27,521 Waita minute. 856 01:04:43,246 --> 01:04:45,544 Go ahead. I'm back. 857 01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:47,811 Get ready for a big surprise. 858 01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:51,343 I have your black bag. It got mixed up with my luggage at the station. 859 01:04:51,421 --> 01:04:54,618 So, that's what happened! 860 01:04:54,691 --> 01:04:57,126 Mr. Kettle, we're having a little party tonight. 861 01:04:57,193 --> 01:05:00,788 Come out and pick up the bag. You can kill two birds with one stone. 862 01:05:00,864 --> 01:05:04,129 What do they do to you ifya kill 'em? 863 01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,259 I got arrested for feeding them. 864 01:05:06,336 --> 01:05:09,431 [Laughing] What a sense of humor! 865 01:05:09,506 --> 01:05:11,804 I won't take no for an answer. My car'll pickyou up at 8:00. 866 01:05:11,875 --> 01:05:14,367 If there's anybody you want to bring, don't hesitate. 867 01:05:14,444 --> 01:05:17,414 That's right neighborly of you. 868 01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,074 Glad to oblige. Good-bye. 869 01:05:20,150 --> 01:05:23,882 Oh, Ma! Man found Mr.jones's bag. 870 01:05:23,953 --> 01:05:27,719 We better find Louie and tel! him what happened. 871 01:05:27,791 --> 01:05:31,091 Might as well give him the right bag, long as we found it. 872 01:05:31,161 --> 01:05:33,289 Good-bye. 873 01:05:36,566 --> 01:05:40,662 Ifand when this bag shows up, we've gotta be prepared for action. 874 01:05:40,737 --> 01:05:44,173 That's why this plan. I still don't like it. 875 01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:47,107 You're making clay pigeons out of my folks. What else? 876 01:05:47,177 --> 01:05:50,772 If we told them about the $100,000, they'd get nervous and tip off Louie. 877 01:05:50,847 --> 01:05:54,408 It's the only way. As soon as Pa gets the real bag, the mob'll move in. 878 01:05:54,484 --> 01:05:56,418 We need to nail 'em with the evidence. 879 01:05:56,486 --> 01:05:59,512 Who's gonna protect my folks? We will and you will. 880 01:05:59,589 --> 01:06:03,822 Me? Yes, you can be around without arousing suspicion. 881 01:06:05,562 --> 01:06:09,123 What about the kids? They're living with a killer. Don't worry. 882 01:06:09,199 --> 01:06:12,328 I'll notify the police and the kids'll be safe. 883 01:06:12,402 --> 01:06:15,599 Is it a deal, Tom? 884 01:06:15,672 --> 01:06:20,610 Okay... but I hope it's the right thing. 885 01:06:22,078 --> 01:06:25,605 [Chattering, Shouting] 886 01:06:28,184 --> 01:06:32,121 Hey, I got the white ring. It's my turn! 887 01:06:33,857 --> 01:06:37,816 Stop! No, please, kids, not again. 888 01:06:41,030 --> 01:06:46,469 [Shouting] [Laughing] 889 01:06:46,536 --> 01:06:48,766 [Children Laughing] 890 01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:52,502 [ Manger] He/p! L ea' me do wn! He's got one of the kids. 891 01:06:52,575 --> 01:06:55,169 Three men come with me, the rest of you go through the front. 892 01:06:55,245 --> 01:06:57,543 We're going around the back. Come on. 893 01:06:57,614 --> 01:06:59,582 [ Munger Yelling] 894 01:07:01,818 --> 01:07:04,310 [ Munger] Help! Help! Let me down! 895 01:07:06,189 --> 01:07:08,715 Okay, kids. We'll take over. 896 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,022 Let him down. Nice goin', Benjamin. 897 01:07:13,096 --> 01:07:16,259 How'd you know that was Shotgun Munger? The bank robber? 898 01:07:16,332 --> 01:07:21,168 We didn't. We werejust playing cobs and robbers. Cops and robbers? 899 01:07:23,239 --> 01:07:26,140 Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you. Get me outta here. 900 01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:29,338 Boys, get him a nice, comfortable cell. Thanks. 901 01:07:29,412 --> 01:07:32,575 Just so long as I'm safe. 902 01:07:35,451 --> 01:07:39,115 Murphy, stay here and protect the kids. 903 01:07:40,223 --> 01:07:42,920 Brodney, stay here and protect Murphy. 904 01:08:05,448 --> 01:08:07,712 Follow that car. 905 01:08:16,025 --> 01:08:18,289 Follow that cab. 906 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:25,125 Follow that cab. 907 01:08:39,215 --> 01:08:41,707 [indistinct Chattering, Music] 908 01:08:51,260 --> 01:08:53,194 The salesman said to the farmer, 909 01:08:53,262 --> 01:08:56,698 “lfyou find me in the barn, I deserve to get shot.“ 910 01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:59,792 Robert, they've just pulled in. Uh, good. 911 01:08:59,869 --> 01:09:02,497 We'll meet the Kettles at the door. Excuse us. Of course. 912 01:09:02,572 --> 01:09:05,872 Victoria, go out of your way to be nice to Kettle. 913 01:09:05,942 --> 01:09:09,003 I can make a million out of this. 914 01:09:09,078 --> 01:09:11,604 [Doorbell Buzzing] 915 01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:20,021 Mr. Masterson, howdy. 916 01:09:20,089 --> 01:09:23,992 Mr. Masterson is inside, sir. Who shall I say is calling? 917 01:09:24,060 --> 01:09:27,325 Uh, Kettles calling. 918 01:09:27,397 --> 01:09:30,332 Won't you come in? Why, sure! 919 01:09:31,701 --> 01:09:35,296 Nice place you got here. 920 01:09:35,371 --> 01:09:39,740 Your hat, sir? Course it's my hat. 921 01:09:39,809 --> 01:09:42,506 Haven't the Kettles come yet? 922 01:09:42,578 --> 01:09:47,015 These... are the Kettles, sir. 923 01:09:47,083 --> 01:09:50,519 Mr. Kettle, I am Masterson, and this is Mrs. Masterson. 924 01:09:50,586 --> 01:09:52,611 Howdy. 925 01:09:52,689 --> 01:09:56,489 This here is Ma; and these are my two kids, 926 01:09:56,559 --> 01:10:00,462 Tom and, uh... Kim. Kim! 927 01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:02,521 Hope you don't mind my bringin' 'em here. 928 01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:05,158 You're welcome. Any friend of yours is a friend of-- 929 01:10:05,234 --> 01:10:07,168 Charles, take Mr. Kettle's hat. 930 01:10:07,236 --> 01:10:11,571 No, you don't! I ain't gonna pay no quarter to get it back. 931 01:10:11,641 --> 01:10:14,167 [Chuckling] That's so funny! 932 01:10:14,243 --> 01:10:17,213 Isn't it, dear? Yes. 933 01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:21,217 Uh, it's all right, Pa. Let him take it. 934 01:10:21,284 --> 01:10:26,051 Darling, take the Kettles into the garden? I'd love to. 935 01:10:26,122 --> 01:10:29,387 I'll join you in a moment. There's something I must attend to in the library. 936 01:10:29,459 --> 01:10:32,360 It's right out here. Come on. 937 01:10:35,298 --> 01:10:38,233 [ Doorbell Buzzing] 938 01:10:41,637 --> 01:10:45,267 I'm a friend of the Kettles. Your hat-- 939 01:10:45,341 --> 01:10:47,708 In the garden, sir. Thanks, bud. 940 01:11:00,623 --> 01:11:03,718 [ Doorbell Buzzing] 941 01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:08,390 Friend of the Kettles. 942 01:11:08,464 --> 01:11:10,660 Uh, in the garden, sir. Thank you. 943 01:11:14,003 --> 01:11:16,631 I'm sorry, Mrs. Masterson. 944 01:11:16,706 --> 01:11:20,665 We didn't realize your party was going to be formal. Harold should've told you. 945 01:11:20,743 --> 01:11:23,110 But, you all look lovely. 946 01:11:23,179 --> 01:11:25,614 That's a pretty dress you got on. 947 01:11:25,681 --> 01:11:29,276 Too bad the top wasn't finished in time for the party. 948 01:11:29,352 --> 01:11:33,152 Uh, won't you two dance? Yes, thank you. 949 01:11:33,222 --> 01:11:36,886 Excuse me. I'll see what's keeping Harold. 950 01:11:36,959 --> 01:11:40,486 You'd think she'd be afraid ofcatchin' cold. 951 01:11:45,935 --> 01:11:48,131 Caviar? 952 01:11:48,204 --> 01:11:51,765 What they won't think of next! Buckshot on toast. 953 01:11:55,745 --> 01:11:59,875 Mmm. Tastes good, Pa. We'll have to try cookin' some. 954 01:12:07,456 --> 01:12:10,323 Why, George! What are you doing here? Kim! 955 01:12:10,393 --> 01:12:13,124 Hello, Tom. George. 956 01:12:13,196 --> 01:12:16,530 I'd like to apologize for being so stupid the other night. 957 01:12:16,599 --> 01:12:19,728 Forget it. I have. I didn't know you knew the Mastersons. 958 01:12:19,802 --> 01:12:22,635 We didn't until tonight. Masterson's my partner. 959 01:12:22,705 --> 01:12:26,198 He's the one interested in backing your incubator. Oh, really? 960 01:12:28,444 --> 01:12:32,438 I've got something to tell you. Where can we talk? 961 01:12:32,515 --> 01:12:35,746 Let's go right over here. 962 01:12:43,993 --> 01:12:46,325 Kettle said the bag would be here. 963 01:12:48,631 --> 01:12:52,329 The place is crawlin' with cops! So what? 964 01:12:52,401 --> 01:12:55,894 What can they arrest us for? Crashing a party? Maybe it's a trap. 965 01:12:55,972 --> 01:13:00,136 We gotta get to that bag before they do or it's good-bye a hundred Gs. 966 01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:05,010 Havin' to steal the same dough twice! It's a crime. 967 01:13:05,081 --> 01:13:09,416 What are we going to do? Sell Kettle $1 million worth of bonds. 968 01:13:09,485 --> 01:13:13,115 $1 million worth of bonds? He doesn't spend $20 on a suit! 969 01:13:13,189 --> 01:13:16,284 I told you he was eccentric. Eccentric? 970 01:13:16,359 --> 01:13:20,592 They're fantastic! Did you see those friends that followed them in? 971 01:13:20,663 --> 01:13:24,600 Maybe they're bodyguards. Make sure they're enjoying themselves. 972 01:13:24,667 --> 01:13:26,761 I'll get his bag out of the safe. 973 01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:31,501 We better tell H.M. so he'll know what to expect. Tom! 974 01:13:31,574 --> 01:13:34,168 Lieutenant, I saw your men. I was hoping you'd be here. 975 01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:37,440 I tried to get you at headquarters. What's up? 976 01:13:37,513 --> 01:13:40,210 Masterson claims he has the original bag. Great. 977 01:13:40,283 --> 01:13:42,274 If the dough's in it, we can pinch the whole bunch. Where's Masterson? 978 01:13:42,351 --> 01:13:45,878 In the library. Lt. Klein, George Donahue. 979 01:13:45,955 --> 01:13:48,720 How do you do? This way. 980 01:13:55,031 --> 01:13:59,434 G," [ Orchestra Continues ] 981 01:14:03,239 --> 01:14:06,140 Don't you like to dance? Sure do! 982 01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:10,042 We only do square dancin'. Square dancing! 983 01:14:10,112 --> 01:14:14,640 It might be fun. Let's see about it. 984 01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,981 Mr. Saul, can you play a square dance? We can play it. 985 01:14:21,057 --> 01:14:24,823 But we need someone to call. I can do that! 986 01:14:24,894 --> 01:14:27,158 How wonderful! 987 01:14:27,229 --> 01:14:30,494 Mr. Saul, stop the music, please. 988 01:14:30,900 --> 01:14:32,994 Listen, everyone! 989 01:14:33,069 --> 01:14:37,700 We're going to square dance, and Mr. Kettle has consented to call. 990 01:14:37,773 --> 01:14:42,142 Howdy, folks. Grab your partner, set your squares. 991 01:14:42,211 --> 01:14:46,512 [indistinct Chatter] 992 01:14:48,217 --> 01:14:52,017 Help 'em, Ma. All right, Pa. I will. 993 01:14:53,089 --> 01:14:56,389 Excuse me, folks. Make a square, now. 994 01:14:56,459 --> 01:15:00,487 Make a square. Come on. 995 01:15:00,563 --> 01:15:03,692 All right, Pa! Start the music. 996 01:15:05,768 --> 01:15:08,533 Let's have a little quiet, folks. 997 01:15:08,604 --> 01:15:11,369 This is going to be ladies' choice. 998 01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:16,844 I'll call my version of a square dance twister. 999 01:15:16,912 --> 01:15:18,676 Music! 1000 01:15:18,748 --> 01:15:22,309 ♪ Everybody stomp and swing Swing 'em half the time ♪ 1001 01:15:22,385 --> 01:15:25,878 ; Side couples split and step right back Stand there four in line ♪ 1002 01:15:25,955 --> 01:15:29,050 ♪ Everybody forward and back I'll tell you the reason why; 1003 01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:33,289 ,' Pass right through 5a y how are you and look 'em straight in the eye,' 1004 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:36,992 ,' Wea ve back and forth across the set Folks, you're doin's well , ' 1005 01:15:37,066 --> 01:15:40,593 ,' You reach the end and tum right back Clap hands and give a yell,' 1006 01:15:40,669 --> 01:15:43,832 ,' If you get lost don't get upset while the others promenade,' 1007 01:15:43,906 --> 01:15:47,399 ; Swing your honey till the rest get back And don't you be afraid g 1008 01:15:47,476 --> 01:15:51,242 ,' Stop right there and grab your pardn ' Swing 'em high and lo w,' 1009 01:15:51,313 --> 01:15:54,578 ;Swing Lulu Bell and Happyjack Swing your Unclejoe; 1010 01:15:54,650 --> 01:15:57,676 There's the bag. I'll warn Pa. 1011 01:15:57,753 --> 01:16:02,020 ;Treat 'em all alike Treat 'em all the same No cheatin' in the game ♪ 1012 01:16:02,091 --> 01:16:05,823 Pa, listen! That black bag of yours has $100,000 in it. 1013 01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:08,455 Mnjones and his brother are bank robbers. 1014 01:16:08,531 --> 01:16:10,898 Bank robbers? Yeah. Look! 1015 01:16:15,438 --> 01:16:18,931 Look, he's getting away. I'll fix 'im. 1016 01:16:19,008 --> 01:16:23,241 ♪ Ma, cage that bird with seven hands round Close in and make it tight ♪ 1017 01:16:23,312 --> 01:16:26,873 ; Someone else is in the deal But wait, I'll make it right; 1018 01:16:26,949 --> 01:16:30,476 ,' Now rip and snort Go through the rings Gee, there it goes again,' 1019 01:16:30,553 --> 01:16:34,046 ,' Ma, head 'em 0h' and tackle low and kick him on the shin,' 1020 01:16:34,123 --> 01:16:37,616 ♪ Get in there, Ma and swing Grandpa with one, two, three, you know ♪ 1021 01:16:37,693 --> 01:16:41,323 ,' Give an upper cut andgrab that bag Then duck and awa y you go,' 1022 01:16:41,397 --> 01:16:44,833 ; Promenade Indian style Watch the guy comin' down the aisle ♪ 1023 01:16:44,900 --> 01:16:48,461 ;A dirty trick, a rotten shame Don't worry, Ma You're not to blame ♪ 1024 01:16:48,537 --> 01:16:52,440 ♪ Signals nine and forty-four That's all there is There ain't no more ♪♪ 1025 01:16:56,979 --> 01:16:58,913 Here's your bag, Lieutenant. 1026 01:16:58,981 --> 01:17:02,474 You did a finejob. I couldn't have done it without Ma's help. 1027 01:17:02,551 --> 01:17:04,485 Ah, now, Pa! 1028 01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:19,701 [Sighs] Ah. home sweet home. 1029 01:17:19,768 --> 01:17:22,567 Have a good time in New York? We sure did! 1030 01:17:22,638 --> 01:17:26,097 It's a nice place to visit, but there's no place like Cape Flattery. 1031 01:17:26,175 --> 01:17:29,008 Here you are, Ed. Keep the change. What? 1032 01:17:29,078 --> 01:17:31,979 I learned that in New York. [Giggling] 1033 01:17:37,953 --> 01:17:41,184 Sure is peaceful like, ain't it, Pa? 1034 01:17:41,257 --> 01:17:43,248 It sure is, Ma. 1035 01:17:49,365 --> 01:17:51,959 Well, of all things! 1036 01:17:52,034 --> 01:17:53,968 Burglars! 1037 01:17:55,704 --> 01:17:59,334 What are you mm' to do, rum my carpet? 1038 01:17:59,408 --> 01:18:02,309 lfit isn't Murphy from the sheriff's office. 1039 01:18:02,378 --> 01:18:04,904 So it is. Untie him. 1040 01:18:06,081 --> 01:18:08,982 What're you doin' in here anyway? 1041 01:18:09,051 --> 01:18:12,385 Sheriffleft us here to protect the kids. We're leavin'! 1042 01:18:12,454 --> 01:18:15,685 He should've sent the state militia. 1043 01:18:15,758 --> 01:18:18,420 Help me clean up this mess. 1044 01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:22,931 [Children Chanting Indian War Cry] 1045 01:18:24,333 --> 01:18:27,359 They're loose! Put a blanket over 'em! 1046 01:18:28,871 --> 01:18:30,839 [Chanting] 1047 01:18:30,906 --> 01:18:35,036 [ Ma 1 Let me outta here! Turn on the lights! 1048 01:18:35,110 --> 01:18:38,512 Let us outta here! [Children] Ma! 1049 01:18:42,084 --> 01:18:45,281 Ahh. The little darlings. 1050 01:18:45,354 --> 01:18:49,313 Yep. But you gotta watch 'em. Oh, Pa!